Hey dolls!
Well what can I say about my life in the last couple of weeks?
I think it's safe to say I've unintentionally started on a journey of sorts. For a long time now my life has been simple. I've been floating by with a kind of numbness that gets me through each day.
I've always been this really shy, quiet person. I'm starting to open up a little more. Really saying what's on my mind when necessary has always been some kind of struggle. Lately, however, I've been "blossoming" into this new creature. I love it.
I think this happens every couple of years for me. I'm always changing and discovering more about myself than I knew the year before. I have these strange anxiety issues and I always have. And yet, at the same time, I have always been an extremely friendly person who loves to talk to people. I used to get into trouble at school for talking too much. Now I barely make a sound.
Anyway, I like what's happening. I'm not becoming some loudmouth girl who says negative things to people. Just me, still friendly, but willing to show it.
Have you guys ever struggled with anxiety and shyness issues?
So back to the beginning. The numbness that got me by everyday. It's like living in a world without color and music. Everything is routine, black and white, and boring. I had gotten a string of writer's block and creativity loss.
That's what I was missing. I have tons of art supplies that have gotten dusty, thanks to this numbness. And I couldn't find it. Now that my life has shifted into different gears, I'm beginning to slide back into that world again. Only this time, more mature and deeper than I was before.
I've found art. I've found color. I've rediscovered fashion and beauty. I've found people. And I'm always finding new music for the soundtrack of my life. And best of all, I'm learning to be better than I was before.
A better friend, teacher, daughter, girl, and a better me.
I'm back in school right now. I forgot how much work it really can be. I'm still not perfect, but I'm doing a much better job this semester than ever before. I can't wait for the weather to be cold again. I'll enjoy going to class even more when my hair doesn't frizz up. :D
I'm learning a lot, despite a lot of distractions that might occur.
The job search is still going strong. Despite the short break I've taken to prepare for school. I know I'll find something soon.
Don't you hate how you do ten full loads of chores a day and it seems like no matter how much you clean it never stays that way?... Am I the only one annoyed by that? Maybe it's because the lazy part of me hates to clean. Oh well. My mind is slipping because I'm thinking about my next art project and math homework. I guess that's my cue to end this post.
Enjoy your weekend kiddos. Stay classy. ;)
