Rockafella

Hey dolls!

Well what can I say about my life in the last couple of weeks?
I think it's safe to say I've unintentionally started on a journey of sorts. For a long time now my life has been simple. I've been floating by with a kind of numbness that gets me through each day.
I've always been this really shy, quiet person. I'm starting to open up a little more. Really saying what's on my mind when necessary has always been some kind of struggle. Lately, however, I've been "blossoming" into this new creature. I love it.

I think this happens every couple of years for me. I'm always changing and discovering more about myself than I knew the year before. I have these strange anxiety issues and I always have. And yet, at the same time, I have always been an extremely friendly person who loves to talk to people. I used to get into trouble at school for talking too much. Now I barely make a sound.
Anyway, I like what's happening. I'm not becoming some loudmouth girl who says negative things to people. Just me, still friendly, but willing to show it.

Have you guys ever struggled with anxiety and shyness issues?

So back to the beginning. The numbness that got me by everyday. It's like living in a world without color and music. Everything is routine, black and white, and boring. I had gotten a string of writer's block and creativity loss.
That's what I was missing. I have tons of art supplies that have gotten dusty, thanks to this numbness. And I couldn't find it. Now that my life has shifted into different gears, I'm beginning to slide back into that world again. Only this time, more mature and deeper than I was before.

I've found art. I've found color. I've rediscovered fashion and beauty. I've found people. And I'm always finding new music for the soundtrack of my life. And best of all, I'm learning to be better than I was before.
A better friend, teacher, daughter, girl, and a better me.

I'm back in school right now. I forgot how much work it really can be. I'm still not perfect, but I'm doing a much better job this semester than ever before. I can't wait for the weather to be cold again. I'll enjoy going to class even more when my hair doesn't frizz up. :D
I'm learning a lot, despite a lot of distractions that might occur.

The job search is still going strong. Despite the short break I've taken to prepare for school. I know I'll find something soon.

Don't you hate how you do ten full loads of chores a day and it seems like no matter how much you clean it never stays that way?... Am I the only one annoyed by that? Maybe it's because the lazy part of me hates to clean. Oh well. My mind is slipping because I'm thinking about my next art project and math homework. I guess that's my cue to end this post.

Enjoy your weekend kiddos. Stay classy. ;)

Positivity

Wow life is crazy.
And I love every minute of it.

I can honestly say I'm the happiest I've ever been. Things have been rough, but somehow that makes little difference towards the way I feel.

I still need a job and I have to pay back a lot of money, but all of that will settle in time.
I finally turned 21. It's not even that I'm legally allowed to drink alcohol. It's as though the air is different now. Somehow I feel cleansed of all the bad things that were once in my life, including the bad feelings.
Everything is settling into place one by one. It seems my prayers have been answered. God has been blessing me with various people, lessons, and experiences.
My faith is stronger than ever, I feel closer to my family, I feel my friends and I are finally on the same page.
There is not one negative person who can bring me down again.
I feel beautiful.
And look it, too! ;)

You may look at me and think "Her life sucks. She has no money or a job."
But despite that positivity reigns. I am rich, beautiful, happy, and nothing can stop me. God has given me so much. And I can't thank him enough.
Once I let go of the negativity and the stress, I gave everything to Him. In return, he showed me the person I was meant to be. The person I am becoming every single day. I still don't know what lies down the road for me. I don't know where I'll be twenty years from now, but right now I'm alive and well. And nothing else matters.

:D


So this week's lesson kiddos,
THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS. They'll take you places you've never dreamed of.

Better Now

Hello everyone! I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I didn't have much to write since life has been so unproductive for me. Which is interesting because that's what I'm writing about now.

I'm trying so hard to stay positive about my current situation. But with every day that passes, this feeling of an overwhelming sadness sticks to me and grows stronger.

Tonight, however, I'm letting go to try and get it out of my system and start anew when I wake.

So here's the downside:
I am broke. I am unemployed. I am about to return to school. I lost my car.

Here's the upside:
I have learned to respect money. I am about to return to school. I've had time to focus on myself. I have quit smoking cigarettes. I am getting a new car and I get to learn a new skill by driving a standard vehicle.


I feel like a zombie in this house.
This weekend makes me realize how alone I really felt. Which is depressing.

However, I can see how I want my life to be. I know that with a strong faith and plenty of prayers, God will make it happen.

Which is why it's hard to be negative.
;)
Because no matter how sad I may think I am, the truth is, I'm not.
Not sad in the least.
I'm not alone.
I'm not a zombie.
I'm not lazy.
I'm not a failure.

I'm always getting better and gaining new knowledge everyday.

I don't know if you noticed but I had and epiphany in the middle of writing. Every negative thought just got kicked to the curb.

I see myself happy, healthy, with a job, and making all A's in my classes.
I see my blogging and YouTube "careers" growing this year.
I see myself with my friends and family going out and having a great time frequently.
I see my life with God above me.

And I like what I see. :D

Happy 4th of July, my fellow Americans!
Be careful with those fireworks!

Quick update!

Okay so my spring cleaning job was a massive fail.
I started and it just seemed like I was making a bigger mess, and I also grew completely distracted and lost motivation.
Sorry guys.

But, my room was clean when my friends came. It just wasn't what I was hoping for. And after their visit, I let the mess pile up again. Then the following weekend, they made a surprise visit for a night. I haven't cleaned that quickly in a long time.
That made me finally realize what my true motivation was.
I'm tired of having to worry about my room being clean and organized.
So I'm taking today to get it together and finally suck it up and do it.

I've already started on my laundry, since it's the biggest part of the mess. I'm just taking a short break to get all of my computer time out of the way before I get back to it.

Anyway, I'll move on now.
Something new, if you know me, then you know I am currently without a car, due to the wreck I was in a few weeks ago. So all this time I've been at home, doing nothing. Now we've gotten the situation under control and I'm having to learn how to drive, this time with a standard vehicle. I've only had two lessons so far, but I'm getting better so hopefully I'll be driving again soon.

So if you guys haven't checked out my other blogs, then I really suggest you do it! I have a Beauty, Entertainment, and Personal Diet/Fitness blog. Which you can find in my profile. So don't forget to Follow those as well!

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you guys I'm sorry and that I'll have pictures posted of my room as soon as I finish tonight.
I'm trying to think of ways to move my furniture to make it more functional or more in tune with Feng Shui.

Hope you guys have a great weekend, and I'll post up again soon!

BLOGMania!

Hey guys!

So this is just a quick note for you guys. I am actually creating a few more blogs.

I have this one, which is my personal one with all of my thoughts, updates, and random things blog.

I figure I spend so much time online being completely unproductive, that it's time I channeled that into actual creative productivity.

I really do enjoy writing blogs. There's something really awesome about having your own page for other people to read. It is both educational and interesting.

I'm really excited so I'll tell you what I have planned for the near future.

(Regardless of how many people actually read these.)

Here's the list:

-Beauty blog. Which will cover everything from Makeup, Hair/Skin Care, Product Reviews, maybe some short, step by step tutorials.

-Health blog. This will be covering my ongoing battle to win the war against fat. I will be posting quite a bit of information about healthy foods, exercises, and weekly updates on my weight and progress on dropping the lbs!...

-Entertainment blog. No, your eyes did not deceive you. I am creating a blog about Games, Movies, Music, Awesome Websites to check out, and New Gadgets on the market. Be prepared, because this blog is going to rock your socks off.

Or at least give you something interesting to talk about with your friends.

So, there you have it. I have a lot of awesome posts to come and I'll post the links so you can follow them, when they are finished.

Hope you guys have a great weekend and an awesome night!

Love,

Lauren <3

Spring Cleaning.

Well, if you are a good friend of mine, then you know exactly the way I feel about cleaning.

You'll probably know what my room and car look like most of the time, as well.

I am here to let you know that I have put my foot down.

I now realize how important cleaning is and how being organized can simplify complicated parts of my life.

NO MORE will I be considered a messy/disorganized person.

So, I'm finally back with my newest blog. It's been a long time and I apologize.

I've had a hard time committing to making blogs.

Now I'm over that, too.

I have made a few small changes in my life lately, and would like to tell you all about them.

So.. Let's begin!

First things first, cleaning/organization.

I have some close friends coming to visit this weekend and I haven't seen them in a long time. So I would like to surprise them with my "new" room.

The base of my design vision is here, I just need to rearrange and get rid of the clutter to make it visible.

As some of you know, I'm a huge Alice In Wonderland fan. It has been one of my favorite stories for the longest time. And I have always wanted to incorporate that into the design of my bedroom.

By using the colors Sky Blue, Black, White, with small accents of Gold, I have been able to create just that.

However, the rebellious clutter-minded teenager has decided to strike yet again!

So I know that it is now officially Summer, but I am going to do some serious Spring Cleaning.

Not only will this room be clean, but I am going to completely remove everything I feel like I've been hoarding. I'll be rearranging furniture, and finally making my Alice in Wonderland vision, a reality.

Tomorrow is the big day. I'll be spending all of Thursday making it happen. I'll even be waking up early to get started.

If you have any comments of support and encouragement feel free to post them here or on my Facebook page.

I'll be posting Before and After pictures of my room, sometime around midnight tomorrow.

So check back for them.

If you want to know what I do for motivation, here it is...

I make a long, amazing playlist full of EPIC music.

I hit play.

Then, I bust through the door of my room with a bucket of cleaning supplies in hand.

And pretend the clutter is a bunch of zombies, and I'm playing Left 4 Dead.

Fat Bottomed Girls!

Well, welcome back. I hope you had a lovely week everyone.
I know I did.
And after all of those Halloween treats I have noticed the number on the scale has risen. And all I can think is "I'm so sick of being fat!".
It's true, I really am annoyed with myself for giving in, but I cannot give up.
I relapsed for a week or two and now it's time to get back on that horse and ride. So I've got this figured out. NO MORE EXCUSES.
The word "lazy" no long exists in my dictionary.
The time has come, and I am ready.

-I have already got myself signed up for a year at Curves gym. I love it there, it's so easy and it's never crowded. So from Monday on, I will be hitting the gym 5 days a week, Mon-Fri.
-I'll take the weekends to rest up and prepare for the next week.
-I'm cutting out all liquids except the most essential...water.
-No more sweets! No more fast food!
-I'm limiting myself to the delicious and nutritious foods.
-Protein rich meats and eggs, leafy green veggies and carrots, and low sugar fruits.

Also, my dog has been tipping the scales lately too and I think she will be joining me a few nights a week for a walk around the neighborhood.
I know she'll love that.

There is nothing more depressing than going shopping and not being able to fit into the things you want to wear. Even boots, because my calves are too wide.
:'(
It's not even about the material items, either.
It's about being healthy, having good skin, hair, and nails.
Because my vanity is stronger than the laziness that lives inside me.
I want to radiate healthiness.
haha
So, even if you're not in it to lose weight, just to get started on living a healthy lifestyle, if you'd like to join me in my journey, you're more than welcome to.

So I will keep you guys updated weekly on how things are going.

The holidays are approaching, but I can control myself ,and I'll be ready when they arrive.
Wish me luck, and GOOD LUCK to those of you who might be trying your own thing too!